The End?
I was driving to the office this morning listening to the audiobook Eat Pray Love (one of many ways to help me find myself – books, movies, music…) and suddenly I realized it is almost September, a year since this incident. I spent my past year healing a broken heart, learning how to take care of and finding myself, but most importantly, reconnecting with myself.
Two weeks after the break up, I finally pulled myself together and logged onto the computer to get some work done. On that very same day, Decor8 featured me and my work on her blog. Because of what I was going through at the time, her feature was extraordinaryly special. Not that it proved to me that I’m awesome or whatever, but when I was in so much pain, it was a nice and pleasant feeling to know that someone liked my work. I quickly wrote Holly a ‘thank you’ email and explained to her what I was going through. And she wrote back… She wrote me this long (what I meant “long” was that for someone like her to take time to write such a long and thoughtful email to someone she didn’t know of was amazing and unforgettable to me) and sweet email sharing her own stories and encouraging me that I, too, can get over this. She also wrote few words that til this day I still kept them in my heart, “maybe it is time to reconnect with yourself.” Those words, among other things, like Wilson (the ball) for Chuck Noland (Tom Hank’s character) in Cast Away, have kept me going this past year (and still do!). Reconnecting with myself, reconnecting with myself, reconnecting with myself…..
Back to this morning. I was driving and remembering that it’s been a year already, then I noticed an ad was being dropped from a billboard, which looked like a curtain slowly falling after a show is over. The workers were changing new ad, I guess. Shortly after, I drove passed a white hearse with a police leading ahead of it. Rather they were signs or not, I realized… the heartache has come to an end – the show is over.
But my question now is… where to next?
You are such an incredible person, and I your honesty, integrity and optimism are things I deeply admire. For so many people in the world, and in the industry, to feel the need to keep up appearances, your decidedly honest and thoughtful candor with your own heartbreak is one of the things that really sets you a part as an artist, friend and all around amazing human being.
Kristen Nichols
August 23, 2010 at 11:14 am
Thanks, Kristen, for always being so supportive. I’m so happy to have you as my friend. :)
Bonnie Tsang
August 30, 2010 at 3:23 pm
It’s very strange where life takes you… either you like it or not, I believe as long as you come out of it as a stronger individual that’s what really counts in the end. Remember Bonnie, it’s the journey, not the destination. Thank you for being you! We love you very very much! We are rooting for you from the sidelines!
JulieLim
August 23, 2010 at 12:39 pm
aw… Thanks, Julie!
Bonnie Tsang
August 30, 2010 at 3:24 pm
I agree with Kristen. It’s rare to see a photographer speak so openly about their personal life.
I can relate to your situation completely and all I have to say is that I think you’re doing splendidly. You don’t have to know what to do next. Just keep doing what you love.
josephine
August 23, 2010 at 3:43 pm
good advice. Thanks, Josephine!
Bonnie Tsang
August 30, 2010 at 3:24 pm
such a beautiful story…thank you for sharing…
its never easy but i believe that life is what we make it through, you rock! xoxo!
cicilia
August 23, 2010 at 8:47 pm
you rock too! Thanks!
Bonnie Tsang
August 30, 2010 at 3:25 pm
i am proud to know you even in a small way Bonnie. This post made me smile a lot…an unveiling of you. How wonderful. xo kate
kate Holt
August 24, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Thanks so much, Kate. :)
Bonnie Tsang
August 30, 2010 at 3:25 pm
Beautiful, Bon. I love you!
{lauryl}
August 26, 2010 at 12:35 pm
love you too, Lauryl!
Bonnie Tsang
August 30, 2010 at 3:26 pm
i think i found your work right around that time. been following and loving ever since. keep growing, its so beautiful to see.
yan palmer
August 28, 2010 at 8:57 pm
yes, keep growing, I’ll keep that in mind. :)
Bonnie Tsang
August 30, 2010 at 3:27 pm
oh this post is magnificent and raw. thank you for sharing such honesty. when you get to the point where you have noticed you are no longer grieving a loss this must be the point you can start the real healing and start fresh from it. To be self aware is a strength you must have. hold on to this moment. hugs.
michel
August 29, 2010 at 12:52 pm
I read and re-read what you wrote. It’s helpful to know that… yes, the healing actually starts now. Thanks for your words, Michel!
Bonnie Tsang
August 30, 2010 at 3:28 pm
Bonnie you inspire me not only as a photographer, but as a mom who is doing it beautifully.
paula
August 29, 2010 at 2:30 pm
thanks so much, Paula!
Bonnie Tsang
August 30, 2010 at 3:28 pm
Your post has totally inspired me to start a new blog and talk about my everyday. I’m a big fan of your work and today I’m waiting at an airport for a flight that will take me back on vacation to place and a life I left behind a year and a half ago. Surprisingly I now realize the change doesn’t hurt as bad as it did before.
Indeed time heals all.
Don’t wonder about the “next” enjoy the now =)
Daniela
August 29, 2010 at 10:23 pm
Daniela, so happy to hear. Thanks so much for sharing!
Bonnie Tsang
August 30, 2010 at 3:30 pm
Bonnie, I’ve always enjoy reading your posts and I love your work! You’ve been a great inspiration in many ways. I like to share this quote with you: “All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time.” – Mitch Albom
I look forward to seeing more great works from you.
Christina S.
September 13, 2010 at 9:40 pm
Oh my word. I scrolled down to this entry and my jaw dropped, just kept saying out loud “oh my, oh my” What an incredible event, and an incredible photo series. So talented. inspiring you are girl! :)
Emily Fitzhugh
October 2, 2010 at 8:08 am
haha I was so taken aback but the wedding photo series I do believe I commented on a different blog. My head was full of flowers. :)
Emily Fitzhugh
October 2, 2010 at 8:09 am